|
jon_drummerboy
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Jon
Birthday: 4/17/1992
Gender: Male
Interests: guitar, drums, and basically all music, God and how His wonders work, friendships, talking, views and beliefs, debating (not angry), religeon, other cultures/languages, south/central america, people, the Bible, friends, living a full life,...AND LIFE.
Expertise: Talking...music.
Occupation: student, servant
Industry: life?
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  jonn8080
Member Since:
8/15/2006
|
|
| of Xanga, anyways. Sorry for the deceiving title. haha. I know Carol has given up Xanga...really, that was the only person I think actually did it at all anymore, aside from my short posts here and there throughout the months. I think it's time to find a new home. Thank you Xanga for all you memories, good and painful. You've been good. But more greatly, thank you everyone who partook in my processes. It has been invaluable to me. :)
Much love,
Jon | | |
| I want my journal back. I don't know where it is...and it bugs me. Wait, let me look for it quick....nope. I already looked in my backpack. Maybe I should clean my room up and find it there? Who knows.
Well, I want to be with you God. I miss life like I've seen it, or even dreamed it. I feel too dull and empty and insatiable. Help me discover life this summer, please :) I want nothing else. No fake life, no corruption, just your life, pulsing through me, in a rhythmic dance I'll never forget. | | |
| I feel lost in the pettiness of life. And I feel like being lost in that picture has made me lose some of my passion and longing. I hate being half-hearted. I hate being selfish. I hate knowing there's more and choosing pettiness! It's terrible. I want God to save me from myself, because I know he'll take me a heck of a lot farther to my dreams than I will... at least I have a vision for more. I can see it. I'm a journeyer...a virtuous one, pure in heart, noble, dignified. And I know how to fight! How to fight darkness and evil. And I'm full of life! A living, fiery, vivacious, untamed life! It's fierce and wild and loving and radical! It's the kind of life that makes you wise when you're ending your life...because you've EXPERIENCED the JOURNEY! I want to be able to look back soooo bad and know something about life, about God, about this mysterious existence because I can say I went for it! I wasn't held back by petty distractions; I didn't degrade myself and stick myself in the mud the whole time! I want to be able to have sought something more! And in that, to live, love, laugh, learn, experience, cry, sleep. I am sick of wandering aimlessly. I don't feel like I've been looking. I want to look for the next step of the puzzle. Search for it. And I love parts of where I am now too! Even inwardly. I love learning about life. It's fascinating, and I'm glad for it... but I want to find God. Seek him out. I know he's here, but I also know there's a lot of Him to experience out there! Plus, when I'm on the journey, not just wandering around aimlessly, it's easier to focus on the goal and not get distracted.
I love you God; I'm coming. No matter what. | | |
| Romance is interesting... So...romantic :P. Just kidding. But romance...life would suck without it. And this is a man writing with not much romantic experience or involvement. Not non, but you know. I'm not talking about shallow hormonal highs. I mean real romance. Between male and female, Man and God. And of course, this all deals with love, which is what makes life. Thus, it makes sense to see that romance is essential in life....
and of course, the man and woman romance is on my mind, but not just that. I don't know; I just like romance I guess. It's like searching someone's inner self. Searching to see what makes them tick, what makes them beautiful. The pursuit of relationship...and vulnerability. I like the idea of putting yourself out there too. You know? It's not safe, but it's living and active. It's not the conservative idea that I'll fall for someone I *know* likes me or whatever. It's you going for it. Almost like going for your dreams. Going for it! Diving in! Full out. And not those shallow flirtatious and crude relationships that form out of sheer physical attraction. I realize this may not be attractive to those who have been through it already and are settled down...but I think there's something natural, and instinctual about it when you're young. Someday, I'll fit the puzzle piece with someone else...and ultimately, the whole puzzle of life will be complete, and expanded, and living, and beautiful. | | |
| I turn 18 soon...I don't really like it. I'm fine, really, but with my mood as of late, I don't want to be 18. Well, I'm not fine, but ultimately I am. I don't want to be old. I know I'm not officially an adult because of what some law says about me. That's not what makes me a man...but it is a step. I'd rather go back to winter and hide in my cozy burrow and just know that I'm with God and everything's good. Instead, I'm onto a new summer, full of life and creation and new adventures.
I think God spoke to me this last Tuesday morning...in a legitimate way. I know I tend to go a little overboard on hearing God's voice, but this I recognized. He spoke to me through a leaf...and a song. The leaf is in the song, and I felt like that was me... just needing God's peace. I have no oppositions to that...but I do wonder why that specifically. I guess I need a base.
Since....last night, actually, I've just been feeling pressure to try or wish or desire to BE something in the eyes of the world...and want what the world wants, and I don't know....just feel all around slightly depressed because I feel like I can't have what I want or something...I know this is temporary...but at the same time, I find it important to confront the feelings, rather than letting them disperse by themselves. In all honesty, it was prompted from Glee...love that show :P. But I think I take the melodrama too seriously. You may think it funny of me to be like that...and that's okay. It is funny...and unusual, but whatever. The battle within me of seeing things through different views is evident. One makes me desire what society says I should, the other is more independent I guess. The former makes me want romance...in the typical high school romance way. The other, that's a peripheral matter. I like romance, quite a bit. Nothing against it. I want it, but I don't want to be hung up over it. I want to see what matters.
As usual, this whirlpool keeps spinning around and changing. I just gotta hang on and go with it...and create something cool. | | |
|